In the Creepypasta Universe, there is a place that is said to contain the most suffering one can imagine, a place where the line between sanity and insanity fades, and where one can enter and suffer a fit of hopelessness towards humanity, and everything it has created.
People like to call it “LOLSKELETONS’ Talk Page”.
However, were all the tales told real? What if it was a rumor some disgruntled newbies had created to make people not approach a part of the universe? Hippie-girl connoisseur and brony extraordinaire, Prince Weaver Jones, had settled as his objective to find out the truth of the place.
-“And so I arrive to the Wall of Wailing, the Walk of Fuck You, the Path of Butthurt”- Prince Weaver Jones claimed dramatically when he stood in front of the forbidden territory. Nobody was around to see him being dramatic, yet he still did it. What a nut.
-“I don’t think it is a good idea, they said. It is a suicide mission, they said. I’ll show them that this place is a mere legend, and that the only thing inside LOLSKELETONS’ Talk Page is newbies giving asspats to each other!”-
Taking a deep breath, Prince Weaver Jones entered the murky depths of a territory only the undead Administrator LOLSKELETONS had seen before. What was the worst that could happen?
The explorer started walking. It was dark inside, he couldn’t see a thing, but he knew it was a straight path, so unless he fell into a pit, he wouldn’t suffer an embarrassing death, being marked for eternity as a dumbass. However, before he even could think about being careful, a voice whispered in his ear.
-“why did u ban me forever when i asked to see the copiedpastas? -_-
And i agree with some people here you are a douche and btw silverspots said your a douche but im calling you one since u banned me thinking i copied myself which makes no sense.”-
-“W-W-W-W-W-W-WHO SAID THAT?!”-Prince Weaver Jones screamed like a girl. Yes, he was hearing voices. But they were indecipherable! –“What is a copiedpastas?! I didn’t ban anybody! And in the name of a wig-wearing Buddha, who the hell is silverspots?!?!?!?!”-
Prince Weaver Jones started to run, while the same voice kept whispering –“Doooooooooooouche”- Finally, Prince Weaver Jones stopped hearing it. Taking a deep breath, he kept walking, not so sure that the journey was a good decision anymore.
Then he saw a little kid in the ground, sobbing. Prince Weaver Jones felt a wave of compassion, and approached the kid. –“What’s wrong? Want me to get you out of here?”-
But Prince Weaver Jones fell to the ground, horrified, when the kid started levitating. It seemd like its skeleton was going to pop out. Then it shrieked –“You deleted my pasta why??? It was meant to be funny!! I am so sick of people deleting my stuff, all right? Im 12 and im trying to get my creativity out there so, wiki users, if u see my name DONT DELETE MY PAGES¬!!!!!”
Prince Weaver Jones crawled under the kid, but It kept hitting the explorer with its puny underage hands. –“TELL ME I’M FUNNY. IT WAS MEANT TO BE FUNNY!”- Finally, Prince Weaver Jones had the courage to punch the kid in the face. What a jerk, punching underage people.
The kid fled, and Prince Weaver Jones was once again alone. –“I shouldn’t have came here. What was I thinking?”-
Some meters after that, he found twins newbies. They were standing like the creepy twins in The Shining, just that the ones in the Talk Page were created in an hyper-realistic way.
One of them mumbled: -“It Appears to me that you have nothing better than to delete pastas out of your own ignorance without consulting the writers hrs of work it seems in my case you found nothing and just thought you were liable to delete it without discussion..”-
While the other just said: -“HEY YOU! since you think the pasta fuck every atomical reality sucks why the fuck do you keep 1 paragraph shit on here, i want to know where the appeal is cause im kicking you off with a petitiob.i wastd so many hours on it and you fucking make me one”-
Prince Weaver Jones only could reply: -“I’m innocent! I haven’t deleted anything! Don’t hurt me!”. The twins advanced towards Weaver, and grabbed him. Then they pinned him down, and started telling him a variety of stories, each one worse than the last one. Prince Weaver Jones made an effort to think of better stuff, such as his preferences, mentioned at the beginning of this tale, but the stories he was hearing were so bad, that he wanted to die. He fainted, what a wuss.
When he woke up, the twins were gone. But there was a new person now.
-“I'm not sure I made my point clear the first time I left a message, but I'll explain it very carefully to you. You deleted my pasta called "Dream Log". You're knee-deep in shit. I spent my precious time on that pasta, but an asshole troll came along to delete my post. That asshole troll is you. If you have a reason, I'd like to know before insanity kicks in. Otherwise, if you delete my pasta again, I'll take this to Cleric.”-
-“I’m not an asshole troll…or am I?”- Prince Weaver Jones was starting to doubt his own beliefs. Oh no! He was losing the very little sanity he had before entering! What a tragic ending for this man!
But then, he remembered what the very charismatic, lovable and simply awesome WhyAmIReadingThis had told him when Prince Weaver Jones had talked about his plans. –“Don’t forget who you are. You’re Nightweaver2112. You like to be called Night. And you simply adore to get banned. Repeat all this stuff if you ever doubt who you are”-
And so he did.
Each time he repeated it, he felt his strength returning. Finally he could stand up. –“Don’t fuck with me! I’m Night! Now GO AWAY!”
-“But I AM THE LIVING INCARNATION OF TREVOR PHILLIPS”- the being yelled back.
-“I could care less if you’re the living incarnation of my sanity, GO AWAY!”-
The being was so scared by Nightweaver’s crazy eyes, that it left quickly. Nightweaver started running towards the light at the end of the Talk Page. But there was one last obstacle.
A giant pony blocked the exit. –“omg please dont report me for saying this and i mean not to hurt you in anyway but.......you are mean.in every possible way.you deleted the only page that i ACTULLY CARED ABOUT.thankes alot for deleteing the ONLY my little pony page. but ya. no offence,but..........REALLY.I HATE THI!S! I AM A MLP FAN!MAYBY YOUR NOT BUT PLEASE LET US HAVE THE MLP PAGE BACK.again.im not trying to hurt you.thanks for reading.”-
-“I bet you’re Finneow, aren’t you? Did you come to fill this place with your ponies and your MLP’s trademark cartoon music, just like you did with my house? Then go ahead! I don’t care!”- then Nightweaver pushed Finn aside, and got out of LOLSKELETONS’ Talk Page.
It had been a terrible experience, and the person who came out of the place wasn’t the same that entered. Now the only thing left was a raging bumbling hobo, running away towards the village where the residents of the Creepypasta Universe lived.
Nobody noticed anything different on Nightweaver, though, which says a lot of what people thought about the former explorer. Oh well!